Bold, audacious, risky…and soooooo worth it!

In August, our Superintendent planted a seed by asking this question, “What if LASD were to submit a record to recordsetter.com?  What would it be?”

It took many months for this idea to grow into one that was actionable.  Here’s some of the thinking that went into it.

We want to revolutionize the learning experiences for our students by way of our LASD Learning Principles.  If we want our students to develop a growth mindset, we must be leaders in demonstrating this ourselves. If we want to balance process & outcome, we must balance the two ourselves.  If we want to make learning relevant by connecting experiences, we must see those links and incorporate them ourselves.  To do all of these things, we need to ACT NOW.  We need to take risks, build relationships, and support each other as we disrupt what was, in an effort to forge a future in learning that illuminates the greatness in each and every child.

Our community believes that in addition to academic mastery, our students also need to be nurtured in their social-emotional growth.  This takes place on our campuses through Project Cornerstone, the inclusion of the arts, music, physical education, and most importantly - through an emphasis on caring relationships.  This is part of our learning culture because it is also part of our professional culture.  Mr. Baier has cultivated an environment where grown ups know each other and invest in each other through purposeful and sometimes playful opportunities.

This past Tuesday, amidst a day of professional growth where we delved into specifics in regards to supporting ALL children in mastering learning standards, we took a moment to connect with each other, engage in fun, and to set a record.  Two hundred elementary educators lit up 200 Energy Sticks by creating a closed circuit.  Why Energy Sticks?  This was a tribute to our value of STEM education.  Why connect?  When we all focus our energies towards a common purpose, our efforts are maximized and our students benefit.  As a grande finale, we functioned as a human light switch and lit up LASD!

HERE is a video of this event.

This endeavor crystallized why I feel so incredibly blessed to be part of the Los Altos School District.  When volunteering to support this record setting attempt, I took on this challenge as a result of the mindset LASD has perpetuated within me.  Fear of failure?  No way!  On my own?  Definitely not; look around and tap into the genius of others.  Difficult?  Probably; that’s what makes the end result ever so sweet.  Bring it on!!!

Here’s the story behind our record setting accomplishment on 1/19/2016.

In December, while deputized as an elf on behalf of Santa and charged with filling up stockings, I came across an Energy Stick at Cost Plus World Market.  Before even leaving the store, I knew how LASD was going to set a record.  We were going to become a human circuit that would light up a sign that displayed our district’s initials.  

• First hurdle:  I didn’t know diddly squat about electricity, light bulbs, wiring, and circuitry.
  • Jump Technique:  I reached out to an inventor (and Almond parent, David Watson) who I knew had knowledge, skillz, and determination.  David reached out to a whole group of folks, shared the vision, and ultimately identified another parent, Louie Dalchev, who partnered with us in bringing this idea to life.  I painted the sign and they outfitted it with lights and an optically isolated relay switch to ensure the spec of “no one gets electrocuted” could be upheld.
• Second hurdle:  Have a Plan B.  Why?  Because I always have a back up, it’s hardwired into who I am.
  • Jump Technique:  Acquire 200 Energy Sticks.  While it would have been so very wise to directly reach out to the manufacturer, Plan B didn’t come to mind soon enough.  Therefore, “Operation Get Energy Sticks” was launched.  I tortured both of my children with sight seeing trips to 9 stores that took us as far north at San Rafael, east to Pleasanton, and to the southern end of San Jose.  Jane Sanders partook in the mission by stopping in Daly City and San Francisco, and Amy Romem (principal at Oak) stopped into the Walnut Creek store.  I’m certain that I’m now on some government watch list ;-) having completely depleted the Bay Area stock of Energy Sticks.
• Third Hurdle:  Secure a filming team to record the event for submission to recordsetter.com.
  • Jump Technique:  Samantha Nguyen and the Almond film team took the job and delivered beautifully!
• Fourth hurdle:  How does one synchronize 200 humans, 200 Energy Sticks, and an LASD Light Sign to connect in a singular closed circuit in a space that won’t allow for a huge circle?
  • Jump Technique:  To attempt this with 200 people without testing it in a more controlled environment would be...well...just plain nonsensical.  Laura Ohlund and her class of students served as the testing tank.  In this process we learned that there was a positive end and negative end to the sticks.  To create a closed circuit where each and every Energy Stick lit up, the stick had to have the +/- oriented in the same direction around the circuit.  Out of 200 Energy Sticks, 45 were flipped in their orientation.  These needed to be labeled and identified.  How to line up 200 people in a space that wouldn’t permit a huge circle?  Why 10 rows of 20 of course.  How to connect the rows to create one continuous line that did close at some point?  Connect the end of line 1 with line 2, the front of line 2 with line 3, etc…and then wrap around line 10 and 1.  How to distribute the energy sticks?  In bags with their protective plastic sheath.  How to transition from Energy Sticks to the grande finale?  That was the easy part.  Put down the sticks and hold hands.

Okay, all set.  Let’s do this!!!

Wait...

• Final hurdle:  Plan for Murphy’s Law.
  • Jump Technique:  Be ready.  Stay open minded.  Remain determined.  Persevere.  Rely on the assumption that others will want to accomplish this with you and make it happen.  Have fun!

From the video, you will see that it took a few attempts to ultimately get all Energy Sticks glowing.  And, that we had to problem solve to get the sign to shine.  Having watched the footage many times in the editing process, it all boiled down to the need for more clear directions in exactly how to hold the sticks.  Hold it in your right hand was not specific enough.  If I ever attempted this same feat ever again (which I can’t imagine would happen), I would change two things.  I would have placed two stickers on every stick, one that had a RH (for right hand) and one that had a L (for left hand).  I would have asked everyone to take their right hand and to grip the end of the stick that had the RH sticker and to extend to the person to their right so that they could grip the other end with their left hand (LH).  And...I would have pressed that darn button on the backside of the LASD sign BEFORE having everyone connect.

As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20.

Cheers to every single member of the Los Altos community who stares into the eyes of failure and says, “Hey you...I’m not afraid of you...because if at first I don’t succeed, I will try and try until I do!”

In case you’re wondering what will be done with the 200 Energy Sticks...each STEM program at each school will get a class set.

At BTSN we shared with you information about Almond’s initiative to meet the learning needs of all students (specifically in reading for the 2015-16 school year).  We outlined that in order to accomplish this we would need several things:

1. Common instructional times to regroup students as needed
2. Weekly embedded collaboration time emphasized on instructional design
3. Multiple assessment measures to pinpoint student learning needs
4. Additional professional development for staff
5. Additional instructional resources to focus instruction for students

For ALL students, Expert Teacher Analysis is shared with you through the end of trimester progress reporting.

For ALL students in grades 1-6, in the months of December/January/February you will be receiving individual student reports of the iReady that compare the 1^st assessment to the 2nd.

At this mid-year point, we will only reassess students with the F&P who are not YET reading on grade level.  Here’s why.  This assessment is very valuable; at the same time, it is very time intensive because of its 1:1 nature.  It takes a minimum of 30 minutes to assess one child (for 25 students, that’s 12.5 hours).  Substitutes are providing coverage in classrooms so that teachers may efficiently assess students.  However, it would take a teacher about 3 days of substitute coverage to assess all children in a K-3 classroom and a bit more in an upper grade classroom.  Research confirms that the single most critical factor to a student’s success is a high quality teacher.  While many of our substitutes are high quality, they can’t replace the classroom teacher’s expertise and the relationship that has been built over days and days of time together.  Because we have multiple measures for determining growth, we are still able to monitor the needs of students at or above grade level without administering the F&P at this mid-year point.  We will make arrangements to assess ALL students with F&P at the end of the year.

I’d also like to share some preliminary data from ONE of our multiple measures, the iReady Reading Assessment.   This research-based computerized assessment tool communicates growth via scale scores that are broken into performance levels.  For a “typical” student at a particular grade level, there is an “average scale score gain” that is to be expected.  The span of points is higher in the lower grade levels and tapers off in the upper grades due to the nature of this being a reading assessment.  Please note this is not % proficient or students meeting/exceeding targets, this is students who are on track to meeting the target growth.  From this chart below, as a school, already at the midyear point, we are on target to meet the expected growth.  When looking at the data by grade levels, the fruits of our labor are also paying off tremendously.

As a staff, we continue our laser focus on ensuring EVERY single student, in EVERY single grade, in EVERY single classroom is “empowered to own their learning in a collaborative community.”

Some fresh ideas for the NEW YEAR!

Two and a half years ago I began this great adventure of serving as Almond School Principal.  I recall the early weeks of summer when I began spending time on campus, meeting the staff, interfacing with parents, and learning about the ins and outs of what makes this place special.  Crystalized in my mind is the moment when I discovered I would be leading a weekly Friday assembly with students, staff, and parents.  

My internal dialogue…“I’m going to do what?!?!  Every Friday?!?!?!  And I get to come up with the topics and themes?!?!?  Seriously?!?!?!”

After the shock wore off…“Okay, let’s do this!”

Well - I gave it my all with the support of many others.  We’ve had ball pits, Miss California, Katy Perry & Lady Gaga visits, incorporated student council speeches, 550 students blowing bubbles and cotton balls through straws, and danced the Uptown Funk together.

It is now time for me to hand over the spotlight to the very reason why Almond Elementary even exists...OUR CHILDREN!

Prepare yourselves for a weekly segment of....”Almond’s Got Talent.”  Does your child play the drums?  Or perhaps they are a skilled pianist?  Maybe they’re THE best joke teller in all of Los Altos?  Whatever it is (within reason - of course), if they want to share it, we want to experience it!

Starting on Friday, January 15th, there will be three 3-minute slots for any student to perform their talent to the whole student body.  In looking at the count of future Fridays, minus a couple that will be dedicated to Junior Olympics prep and celebration, we have room for about 50 talent acts.  A student can perform on their own, with a partner, or in a group.  

There are a few strings:  1) an application MUST be submitted, 2) the parent is responsible for all set up / clean up, 3) the performance cannot be longer than 3 minutes (NO EXCEPTIONS).

Bring on the talent!!!!

And...there is one more fresh idea.

If you haven’t yet gathered, I love music.  It feeds my soul.  While I love “DJing” on Fridays at lunch, I want to pass on this opportunity to our student council spirit captain and add one more day of boogie-ing.  We have an iPod Nano that I will update weekly with requests from students.  This will require some forethought from our students so that I can preview the lyrics to make certain they are appropriate for a school setting.  Please share THIS link with your child and guide them through the process of making requests.

It’s been a great first week back!

One of my very favorite music artists is local native (Oakland) Michael Franti.  My girls and I discovered his blend of hip hop, funk, jazz (and more) when we stumbled upon his video Say Hey (I love you) which was filmed in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.  I was able to share with my daughters the beauty of a country in which I spent part of my childhood.  We talked at length about a country rich with so many resources, yet with staggering poverty.

Last week, I heard a song that made my heart dance!  Michael Franti & Spearhead’s - Once a Day.  In addition to loving music for the rhythms and impact it has on my emotions, the poetry of the lyrics enchant my soul.  This uplifting song is about triumphing over the obstacles that life throws our way.  It’s about getting up after falling down and treasuring small things in life like hugs, kisses (innocent once of course ;-)), and love.  

This joyful song has an exuberant accompanying video.  I do advise that you preview it before you show it to your children because it embraces the beauty of the human body that one might see in Carnival in Brazil.  I did show it to mine and we celebrated the diversity captured.  On this Earth we have amazing variety in the humans which inhabit this planet.  We are colorful.  We have unique shapes and sizes.  We believe in different things.  We have distinct clothing styles.  We love in all sorts of ways.  

Almond is a microcosm of this assortment of magnificence.

By embracing our humanity we can rise up and make this world a remarkable place for years to come.

This is my hope for 2016!  

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”  - Carl Bard

While as individuals, and a society of people, we cannot change some of what’s transpired in 2015, we can certainly influence the future with our actions.  May each and every one of us find the courage to contribute to a world of peace and love.

Happy Holidays.  See you in 2016.

What do you get when you combine coffee filters, scissors, 200+ students, and 1 nutty principal?  Well snowflakes, of course ;-).  My favorite exclamation, “Mrs. Benadom, it snowed in the multi!”

I had the great opportunity to spend time with children yesterday while teachers collaborated and received training in growing their data driven practice with one of our multiple measures.

As I contemplated my plan of attack, I knew that a passive experience for students just wouldn’t do for a school that wants minds and bodies active and engaged.  It was also important that there be some level of new learning.  Ahhhhh, that’s when the crazy idea of crafting snowflakes paired with the science of these beautiful creations came to mind.  

Every winter, my daughters and I turn a space in the house into a winter wonderland with dangling snowflakes.  Our home version includes the use of food coloring, glue, and sparkles.  I thought including those elements with just me and 200+ students might not be the wisest of ideas ;-D.

This time that I spent with our students yesterday - THE highlight of my day!  We watched this informative PBS video, folded our filters into fractions (½, ¼, ⅛, 1/16), and then applied our unique imprints.  In the video, Ryan Teague not only educates the viewer on the study and science of snowflakes, but he also addresses the often overused metaphor that compares humans with snowflakes.  Rather than simply emphasizing the obvious connection between the distinctiveness of each person and that same correlation to snowflakes, he broadens the comparison to one that focuses on the similarity between our journeys. 

Both humans and snowflakes are masterpieces.  We both contain symmetry and imperfections.  We are each sculpted as a result of our singular path through life.  Our existence is fleeting and temporary.

Enjoy this beautiful day!  

While the water molecules falling from our skies here in Los Altos won’t turn into intricate designs of ice, there is so much beauty around us.  It’s in the eyes of each child, their smiles, the sounds of their laughter, their thoughts and enthusiasm.  

Let’s continue working together to grow their curiosity and wonder.

[written Thursday night]

Please excuse this Friday Edition of the Thursday Word.  I had hoped to never miss a Thursday.  Despite my efforts, today (actually this whole week) got the better of me.

In addition, I typically find inspiration for my principal message early in the week and the topic unfolds in my mind with each passing day.  This week however, I’ve experienced a bit of a writer’s block...until tonight.

Tonight was the Kindergarten and New Family Information Night.  All elementary schools in our district invite prospective families to a presentation and classroom visits showcasing what makes LASD and Almond great.

During the Q&A portion of the meeting I was asked, “What keeps you awake at night about your school?”

So here I sit, at 11:01pm, agonizing that I didn’t get the Thursday Word out on a Thursday...but THAT won’t keep me up for much longer.

What do I fall asleep thinking about?  What do I wake up thinking about?  What wakes me up at night?  What do I think about on my long runs?

Two things.

#1 - How do we as a school community make certain that each and every student in our care gets what he or she needs?

#2 - How do I support every staff member towards this effort and ensure they maintain their wellbeing?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, “Every single student at Almond school has a uniquely crafted brain and body that we are called to serve.”  I would also add, that in addition to that brain and body, there’s a specially crafted heart and personality to go along with it.  At our school, we want to ensure that every single child is learning what they are ready to learn.  If a child is ready for a challenge beyond their specified grade level in a particular area, we want to forge that opportunity.  If a child needs support in an area they’re still working on mastering, we need to provide the guidance to conquer that hurdle.  More important than any academic learning, students need to know THEY MATTER!  We see them.  That starts from the second they step on campus.  Why do I greet students each and every morning and say goodbye every day?  I want them to know that they are important to us.  We know their names, we care about them.  The Almond staff embodies this in all they do by building strong relationships with students and families.

Number two was what I actually publicly stated when asked the question.  This was probably most pressing in my thoughts because I am constantly in awe of the dedication of the Almond Staff.  They are THE hardest working staff I have ever known.  They work well into the evening hours, come in on weekends, and consistently respond to my never ending requests with, “Yes.”  This year alone they have given their all to our Almond Personalized Learning Prototype, Standard Based Grading, Haiku, Google Edu Symposium, Parent Conferences, and more…  Several teachers (Schubert, Lamb, Nguyen, Matteroli) opened their classrooms tonight to allow families a peek.  Our office staff (Jane and Joyce) prepped materials and attended the event to walk parents through registration logistics.  Our custodian (Jose) made certain our campus looked beautiful and our multi was ready for this event.  Thank you Almond staff for being so selfless and focused on our students.  You are truly amazing!

Now, it’s time for me to go to bed so I can start a new day with renewed vigor and enthusiasm.

His Name - Sam.  

Occupation - Consummate Waiter.  

Location - The Red Iguana in Salt Lake City, Utah.  

His Clients - Thirteen educators from Almond and LASD.  

His Gift - Personalizing one’s dining experience through a passion for people and food.

Really Erika?!?!  This is your Thursday Word topic of the week?  You betcha!

The Los Altos School District is on a mission to meet the individual needs of all students by designing learning to the edges.   Eleven Almond staff members traveled to Salt Lake City this week to grow our expertise in working together as a team towards this goal.  We cannot do this alone.  We need the collaboration of our peers, our students, our parents, and our district.  We must work interdependently to achieve this goal and we must all hold ourselves mutually accountable.  We must clarify the essential learning we expect our students to master, continue our work in determining how to measure this learning,  and address how we will respond when the learning is mastered and when it is not mastered.  In the words of Robert Eaker, we will “focus relentlessly on the learning of each student - skill by skill.”

Our waiter, Sam, left an indelible mark on each and everyone of us.  He didn’t even flinch at the request for 13 different checks.  He brought us 3 taster plates with a variety of 8 mole sauces to help us in determining which we might want to select.  When one diner expressed ambivalence over which to chose and confessed not having indulged in the samples, he pushed the plate closer to her, made certain she had enough chips, and said he’d be back when she’d determined her preference.  When I became overtaken by the expansive menu, he offered the “top 10” best choices so that I could arrive at the perfect choice.  When engaging with us, he knelt down and made sure his eyes were at our level.  Before the last drop of liquid was consumed from any beverage at the table, he was ready with another.  He leveraged his team to make certain our food arrived within minutes of each other.  And, when it was time to pay up, not only did we each get different checks with a mint, he returned the credit cards to the correct individual with a thank you by name.  Sam not only made our whole group feel like the most important table in that room, he made each and every one of us feel like the most special customer in that restaurant. 

Isn’t that what education is all about?  Making each and every student feel as though they are the most special, loved, valued, capable child with whom we’ve ever had the privilege to help learn.  YES!!!

As we head into parent conferences next week, remember, YOUR CHILD and YOUR FAMILY are important to us.  We care about your child’s learning and we are excited to share his/her progress.

Here is a presentation that was offered at the last two Principal Coffees regarding how we will be reporting out on student progress this trimester.  As we transition into a full implementation year next year with Standards Based Grading (SBG), please keep in mind that different grade levels will be utilizing different documents.  As a school, we have worked together to organize this information into a cohesive packet that includes a cover sheet and various measures to create a comprehensive picture of what your child has mastered and what he/she is still working on mastering.  Here is a link to the Common Core State Standards (CCSS) in ELA and math and the CA content standards for social studies and science. 

Those of us who have ever worked in the restaurant industry learned the term, “I’m in the weeds.”  It’s easy to land there.  Before you know it, all your tables are full and you’ve lost sight of the big picture.  I used to take a minute on the periphery of my section where I would breath and observe.  I would calm my mind and prioritize next steps.  As you dialogue with your child’s classroom teacher, don’t get lost in the weeds.  Focus on the conversation.  I invite you to reflect on these questions.  Does my child’s teachers know him/her?  Is my child’s teacher able to communicate his/her strengths?  Are there identified areas of future growth?

Above all else, keep in mind – we’re in this together.  You want your child be safe, feel special, and to learn at high levels.  I assure you, we want the same thing.  Thank you for your partnership in this process.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The first definition in a Google search of PASSION results in - “strong and barely controllable emotion.”  

Barely controllable.

That smile that you can’t hide.  The high quality product that results because you’ve given your best effort while losing yourself in the work.  The eagerness to share the joy of what you’re doing.

Passion overflowed this past Tuesday at Almond.  It was evident in our students, staff, parents, and LASD leaders as they highlighted different ways in which we are personalizing learning for all children.  The greatest takeaway by our visitors was the enthusiasm that emanated from each individual with whom they interacted.

The morning began with ministers of education and their delegates (from over 22 countries) arriving with their Google hosts at about 8:15am.  Students, teachers, parents, and LASD administrators were seated amongst the 24 tables - ready to engage in conversation. While feasting on a variety of breakfast goodies that included “personalized” pancakes made by an artists flown in from Washington, we shared our experiences with these distinguished educators. However, more importantly, we gained a global perspective by hearing about the challenges facing these leaders in their own countries.

In a presentation, Mr. Baier detailed the incredible journey on which the Los Altos School District embarked many years ago to revolutionize learning.  He explained the collaborative need finding process that involved every stakeholder group in our community to gain further clarity and focus.  This resulted in our LASD Learning Principles that serve as guideposts around HOW children learn in our classrooms.  Our district has provided the vision, the call to action that guides all that we do at Almond Elementary.

Our visitors then heard about Almond’s site based initiative.  As a staff, we have taken a systems approach to meeting the beautiful challenge of personalizing learning to children born in 26 countries, with different socioeconomic backgrounds, varying levels of English proficiency, and each with a uniquely crafted brain and body that holds its own strengths and areas of need.  We are tackling this from many angles that include: effective and varied assessment measures to gauge student learning, embedded collaboration time to design instruction focused on student needs, a common instructional framework to encourage flexibility in re-grouping for learning, instructional resources aligned with student needs, and professional development to grow our expertise.

To see it in action, our visitors peeked into 14 classrooms.  They were encouraged to interact with the students and teachers.  Our students and their teachers showcased the best of what happens on any given day or week.  Students in a 5th grade classroom modeled chemical reactions by building a Scratch animation that required mastery in the elements of the periodic chart and how those elements build compounds.  Students in a 1st grade classroom worked with geometric shapes and writing to build Stop Animations.  These were only the work in two classrooms!  Each classroom highlighted our belief system around making the learning about the content or skill and not about the technology itself.  Regardless of what is to be learned, the more important task is the ultimate goal of fostering creativity, collaboration, and resilience. These are the qualities our students need to change the world for the better.

Throughout the event, our Almond Film Crew captured the magic.  They planned ahead and determined where they would be positioned.  They adjusted as the day unfolded.  Now the exciting work of editing the hours of film will begin.  I can’t wait to see what results.

The event closed in the multi at about 11am with a panel Q&A session that included three Almond teachers and two students.  The panel fielded questions from the audience and they answered with authenticity, great candor, and humor (which is so very important).  As I watched these 5 representatives of our student body and teaching core, I beamed with pride.  They get it!!!  They’re living and breathing what we’re aiming for!  

Almond Community - please join me in celebrating the most brave and hardworking staff that I have ever known.  They care so deeply about your children!  They dedicate hours to planning instruction that is tailored to the diverse learning needs in their classrooms.  They do it with joy, with PASSION.  It is an honor to partake in this journey with them, your children, and with YOU. 

As many of you know, I have two children; Samantha (5th grader) and Alex (3rd grader).  They could not be more unique and individual in their personalities...and I can (without hesitation) say, I wouldn’t want it any other way.  The youngest has been a firecracker since her birth that resulted in an ambulance ride and a near delivery by a whole firefighter crew.  Our oldest is an incredibly concrete, logical rule follower who has only recently exhibited a feisty edge that we are thoroughly enjoying.

I picked Sammi up at play practice two weeks ago and something was off.  She is participating in the school play and has a significant part with 53 speaking lines (she highlighted and counted them all).  When I asked how it went, she gave me the “fine” response with no elaboration, which is not typical.  I asked a few more probing questions and her responses were short and closed.  Before we reached the garage I pulled over on the side of the road and said, “Kid, something’s wrong.  I’m your mom and I know you. What’s going on?”  She burst into tears.  Right there, on the side of the road I turned off the car and got in the back seat with her.  I held her while she cried and said it would be okay.  When she could finally catch her breath, she explained.  

Rehearsal had been difficult.  She was struggling with a particular line and the drama teacher had repeatedly told her that she wasn’t saying it right.  She said she kept trying, but the intonation on the last word kept going up in pitch rather than going down.  The hardest part - the teacher had said something like, “This is probably hard for you because your character is nothing like you in real life.  You probably never get in trouble in class, whereas your character is a rebel.”  She was absolutely devastated that this was not only said, but said in front of her peers.

As I sat there, cradling my daughter, a very strange image popped into my head.  A roaring, grizzly mama bear on her hind legs who was cutting her child’s meat for dinner time.  Allow me to explain.

Just a week prior to this incident, I had the incredible pleasure of hearing Julie Lythcott-Haims (author of How to Raise an Adult) speak at the Nueva Conference.  Julie is a former student dean from Stanford University that has written a book on breaking free of the overparenting trap.  It’s a powerful book that has transformed the way both my husband and I are parenting our children. Chris and I thought we’d been doing a pretty good job. Our daughters went to a participation preschool and this provided us with a great deal of training in terms of letting them learn and struggle on their own. For example, rather than opening the jar they can’t open, or tying the shoes they can’t quite get, we’d give guidance or ask, “Would you like assistance?” 

At the conference, Julie asked the audience, “How many of you are still cutting your children’s steak?”  OMG!  That was me.  I have an 8 and 10 year old and I’m in the business of education, a principal...and I was still cutting my kid’s steak.  She then asked how many of us have our kids doing chores.  Oh no, guilty again...we didn’t have any explicit, structured chore list.

How to Raise an Adult argues that we should not do for our children what they can do for themselves.  We need to empower our children to struggle, fail, advocate for themselves, and build the resilience to become competent adults when they fly the coup and are on their own.  They cannot do this if we don’t strategically set them up for this success.  We need to give them independence, we need to give them space, and sometimes, they need to figure this out on their own.

So back to that mama grizzly bear who was ready to cut her kid’s steak…

I could bare my teeth, send an email to the drama teacher and roar a terrible roar because my child’s perception was that she was publicly humiliated in front of her peers.  Or, I could empower my child to own this situation and turn it around.

I chose the latter.

After I dried Samantha’s tears, I empathized, “Sammi, it must have been really hard to receive what you perceived as criticism in front of all of your friends.  I am so sorry that that hurt.  Have you watched Dad coach Alex? Have you seen how he advises her from the sidelines?  Have you seen how he pushes her?  He loves her, but when he’s in the role of coach, it’s his job to push her to be the best athlete she can be.  And to do that, he needs to challenge her.  So let’s think through your teacher’s statement.  He said that you’re most likely a rule follower in class.  Was he right or was he off base?”  She readily admitted that he had a point.  So then, I did the unfathomable.  I suggested that if getting pushed like this again that she give him attitude and say something like, “Mr. ______, you don’t know me, you’re not my teacher!  You have no idea what I’m like.”  She burst out into laughter and said she’d get in trouble.  So I asked what “trouble” would look like.  She said he would call her mom and share what happened. I said that I would say I told her to act as her feisty character and do it. For the ever-pleasing Samantha, who seldom colors outside the lines, this was hard to stomach, but it was a great opportunity to speak about self advocacy and acting.  She chose a different approach (phew - I had to warn Chris that he might be getting a call from the drama teacher).  She asked for our help in practicing her lines and we modeled attitude and defiance and helped her master her character.

When I checked in with her after her next rehearsal, she was beaming with confidence.  I said, “Did Mr. ______ say anything?”  She said he didn’t say anything but instead just smiled and let her play her part.  My 5th grade daughter was able to solve a challenge on her own (with some guidance) and chose to show up to her next practice even though she really wanted to quit.  She pushed through, conquered the situation, and she is now stronger for it.

At Almond School, we want to create opportunities for this type of learning.  We strive to do this not only in our classrooms, but during recess and lunch as well.

Some of our students have established civilizations in different areas of our outdoor space.  There’s Stick City, Dirt City, and Blacktop City.  Today, one of the cities created a news publication and distributed it.  There are conflicts and challenges.  There are resources (sticks in particular) that are desired commodities which get hidden under leaves for future preservation and use.  There was great consternation on rainy day Monday that the cities were shut down.  I listened to the protest of a city official who thought it was terribly unfair because the influx of water was exactly what Dirt City needed to allow for the rivers to flow and the mud to generate. However, he was very reasonable when I talked through what the bathroom might look like if I did permit such activities.

Our children are capable.  They have strong voices and powerful hearts.  We need to teach them how to communicate their beliefs, how to champion their initiatives, and then we need to let them do it!  We cannot hover, nor overprotect.  In doing so, we take away their power.  Let’s band together and raise a generation of competent, strong adults who grow up and change the world for the better.

Thank you PTA for your generous funding of flexible & responsive learning spaces in our 4th - 6th grade classrooms. Our staff is thrilled at your support in our effort to both personalize the academic experience of our students and their learning environments.  Students have already expressed their excitement at having tools that embrace them as vibrant, active learners.

Looking forward to seeing you all at the Halloween Carnival tomorrow at 3:30pm!